014 The One You Feed
The Battle You Win Is the One You Practice
Episode 14 | Featuring Ashley Negron | listen in your favorite podcast app | Watch on Youtube
There’s a battle inside every person—and it doesn’t wait for the “big moments.” It’s happening in your thoughts, your habits, and what you allow into your life.
This episode centers on a simple truth: the wolf that wins is the one you feed—and for most of us, the negative path is the default because it’s the path of least resistance.
This is a practical framework for rewiring what you focus on, what you consume, and what you reinforce—so when life hits hard, you don’t spiral… you respond.
Quick Takeaways
You always have a choice: what you focus on grows over time.
The “evil” traits are often the default because they’re easier and require less intentional effort.
Gratitude is one of the best “first foods” for the good wolf.
Your mindset rewiring takes time—especially if you’ve fed the negative for years.
“Neurons that fire together wire together”: repeated thoughts and habits strengthen their pathways.
Your environment matters: media, social feeds, friends, and what you expose yourself to.
In deep-rooted patterns, professional help may be necessary to uncover triggers and root causes.
The Two Wolves Framework
Josh opens with the Cherokee proverb: inside each person are two wolves—one representing destructive qualities (anger, envy, resentment, guilt, arrogance, ego) and the other representing constructive qualities (joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, faith). The question isn’t “are both there?” The question is: which one are you feeding?
Ashley frames it in practical terms: like a garden. If you don’t weed it, weeds take over and choke out what you wanted to grow. Your life works the same way—what you allow in, focus on, and reinforce will compound.
Is negativity the default?
Ashley’s take is direct: yes, often. The negative traits are typically the path of least resistance. Like toddlers learning life—defaulting to “me, mine”—we have to be taught and trained into maturity, character, and disciplined focus. It’s easier initially to be negative, cynical, and fixated on what’s wrong. The shift requires conscious effort.
The Reality Check People Need
Josh makes a point that resets expectations: if someone has fed negative patterns for decades, they shouldn’t expect a clean transformation in 60–90 days.
He uses gratitude as an example. People start doing the reps, then get frustrated that negative thoughts still show up. His reminder is blunt: you may have been feeding the “bad wolf” for years—sometimes to the point where the “good wolf” is malnourished or starving. Getting different results requires intentional feeding over time, not quick wins.
Why This Works: Rewiring the Brain
The episode ties the proverb to neuroscience and habit formation.
Ashley explains a “tree” illustration: habits become like growing branches. Over time, those branches get stronger and more developed, and your brain naturally travels the well-worn paths. That’s why your mind defaults to familiar reactions. To change direction, you must intentionally build new branches through repeated choices.
This connects to the phrase discussed in the episode: “neurons that fire together wire together.” The more you repeat a thought pattern or behavior, the more reinforced it becomes.
Change Your Algorithm: Inputs Shape Outputs
Ashley shares an example from a recent podcast she listened to that highlighted “rewiring” through drastic lifestyle change—changing what’s consumed, who’s around you, routines, and environment.
The throughline for this episode is simple:
You can’t feed one wolf and expect the other wolf to win.
Your “algorithm” (your inputs, your circle, your habits) will shape what grows.
Your circle matters
Ashley emphasizes needing people around you who help keep you on the better path—especially when you’re trying to change long-standing patterns.
Sometimes you need professional help
Josh adds an important boundary: repetitive unwanted behaviors can be tied to trauma and deep roots. Depending on what you’re trying to change, you may need professional help to uncover triggers, unwind old patterns, and understand what’s actually driving the behavior.
Strength Over Time: Triggers, Temptation, and Identity
Josh shares a perspective from someone who’s sober and keeps alcohol around—not as temptation, but as a reminder of strength: “It’s right there, and I don’t need it. That’s not me anymore.”
The message is not “everyone should do that.” It’s that strategies differ by stage. Early on, avoid environments that feed the wrong wolf. Later, you may reach a place where your identity and reps are strong enough that proximity reinforces your choice instead of threatening it.
Be Judicious: What You Expose Yourself To Doesn’t Leave You
Josh references a concept he learned that changed how he thinks about inputs: some doors can’t be fully closed once opened. You can’t unhear something, unlearn something, or completely undo what you’ve consumed.
That leads to a practical responsibility:
Be careful what you ingest (music, movies, TV, social feeds).
Recognize that ideas can “stack” and become part of your internal ecosystem.
This is one reason negative news spreads so fast: negativity gets attention—so it gets fed.
The Stakes Get Higher: What You Feed Can Affect Your Kids
Josh shares a sobering layer: it’s not only what you pass down through what your children observe (“monkey see, monkey do”), but also the possibility that patterns can be inherited in ways people don’t expect.
Ashley’s response is grounded: don’t just blame identity (“this is who I am”) or blame circumstances (“it’s because of my past”). Instead:
Become self-aware.
Pause and evaluate.
Ask, in real time: Which wolf am I feeding right now?
Do the reps long enough for the new branch to grow.
She also reinforces the long-view mindset: people overestimate what they can do quickly and underestimate what they can do over a longer horizon. Rewiring takes time.
When Rubber Meets the Road: A Real Story
Ashley shares a defining example: a serious ATV accident that dislocated her elbow and required months of pain, physical therapy, and rebuilding.
She names the fork in the road:
She could have fed “why me,” bitterness, blame, resentment, and emotional destruction.
Or she could feed the good wolf daily: learn something, track progress, accept help, and stay grateful.
What changed the outcome wasn’t luck—it was the intentional mental work already in progress before the accident, especially practicing gratitude. She describes the aftermath as a season that actually strengthened the marriage because it created humility, reliance, and new routines.
Josh adds his side: he had to fight self-blame and guilt, and it helped that key people interrupted that spiral with truth and support.
The point they land on: it’s easy to feed the good wolf when something minor happens. The real test is when tragedy hits.
Practical Application
Use this as a simple framework you can actually run:
Daily “Feed Check” (60 seconds)
Ask: Which wolf am I feeding today?
Name one input you will reduce (negative content, toxic feed, unhelpful conversation).
Name one input you will increase (gratitude, truth, prayer, encouragement, helpful content).
Choose one “meal shift” this week
Josh’s challenge is small but powerful: don’t try to change everything. Choose one meal—one moment, one input, one habit—and shift it toward the good wolf.
Examples supported by the episode:
Start a gratitude habit (even if it feels forced).
Change your media intake (reduce toxic/negative inputs).
Adjust your social circle and daily environment toward support.
Ask for help if the roots are deeper than discipline alone.
Pause-and-Evaluate Reps
When you catch yourself spiraling:
Stop.
Identify the default reaction.
Decide intentionally: feed the good wolf in this moment.
Build realistic expectations
If the negative branch has been growing for years, the new branch won’t be huge in weeks.
Run the reps. Stay patient. Keep feeding the right wolf.
Common Traps
Impatience with rewiring: expecting quick results after decades of reinforcing the opposite pattern.
Feeding negativity through inputs: consuming toxic, hateful, or overly negative content and wondering why it shows up in your thoughts.
Blame loops: “this is just who I am” or “it’s just my circumstances,” instead of ownership and self-awareness.
Trying to change without support: ignoring the role of community or refusing to ask for help.
Ignoring root causes: attempting to willpower your way out of patterns that may require deeper professional support.
Letting guilt and self-blame consume you: spiraling into destructive self-talk after hard events.
Conclusion
The two wolves aren’t a cute metaphor. They’re a mirror.
What you focus on grows. What you consume stacks. What you repeatedly practice becomes your default. And over time, it doesn’t just shape you—it shapes your relationships, your resilience, and the people watching you.
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And if you haven’t listened yet, go listen to Episode 14: The One You Feed—then pick one shift this week and start feeding the direction you actually want your life to go.
Daily anything changes everything.
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